Owning Your Choice: 10 Ways to Cope with Judgment Around Breastfeeding

Why should new moms have to defend the benefits of breastfeeding? If you’re a new mom, that is a pretty big question. You’ll hear all sorts of advice on the topic and will most definitely be pressured on both ends of the spectrum. Pushy lactation experts and even pushier grandmothers will claim to have all the answers, but here is what we know for sure: ignore EVERYTHING you are told. No one knows what is right for you or your baby except you. It is your choice and your choice alone whether you breast or bottle-feed. Of course, there are pros and cons to any choice.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention argues «Breast milk is widely acknowledged as the most complete form of nutrition for infants, with a range of benefits for infants’ health, growth, immunity and development.» But what if you are unable to successfully breastfeed or if it causes you intense pain, anxiety or even depression? Surely a sane mother is equally important to ensure the health of your infant. Point being, there is no one right answer and you need to think about what is best for you. We know…easier said than done. The dirty looks and finger-wagging judgment from the other moms on the block are hard to tune out. So here are 10 tips to help you choose and cope with the choice between breastfeeding and formula feeding.

Consider the bonding

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Judgment may come and go, but latenight snuggle sessions with your baby will disappear once they hit their teen years and want nothing to do with you. Think about the bonding you will experience. It’s one of the biggest benefits of breastfeeding and it will not last forever. When you’re frustrated or doubting your choice just snuggle up with your baby and ignore the haters.

Think of the health benefits for your child

Even those who choose not to breastfeed understand that the health benefits of breastfeeding are incredibly valuable to a baby. There is no denying that breast milk is best thanks to the vitamins, nutrients and disease-fighting substances your will baby will get with every sip. So when you can’t help but notice the dirty looks from the women at the table next to you at brunch, just remember that you are protecting your baby, a responsibility that any mother should understand.

Consider the health benefits for you

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Being pregnant is not always comfortable and the actual act of giving birth is a pain in the…well…everything. It’s no secret that the pre-baby period can be tough, but for some, after the birth can be even tougher. Breastfeeding has been shown to relieve postpartum depression by releasing the hormone oxytocin, which promotes nurturing and relaxation. In addition it can promote healing and by causing the uterus to return to it’s normal size faster. It can also prevent osteoporosis and cancer down the road. Plus it helps you lose the baby weight faster because you burn a ton of calories while breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding may boost your baby’s I.Q.

Research supports a connection between breastfeeding and cognitive development. In other words, what you put into your baby’s body can impact how smart they are later in life. Sure, IQ might not seem to matter right now when your baby can barely lift his head up, but research from Boston Children’s Hospital and Harvard University shows that babies whose mothers breastfed them for at least six months showed a higher vocabulary at age 3 and higher IQ at age 7.

It assures that your child is eating

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If your child took to breastfeeding easily but resisted bottle-feeds and solid foods (once they were older), breastfeeding might be the only way you can ensure they are getting the nutrition they need. As they get older, it is increasingly important to make sure they get necessary nutrients and, if they are fighting off other forms of food, breastfeeding might be your best bet.

It helps prevent childhood obesity in the future

When thinking about breastfeeding and formula, consider that the former reduces a child’s risk of becoming overweight as a teen or adult. This is because they learn from a young age to eat until they are satisfied, which leads to healthy eating habits. In addition, breast milk contains less fat than formula, so babies weight gain is slower and more regulated.

Ask yourself if your baby still wants it

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Who is it more important that you please? Are you trying to make other people who judge your habits happy, or your baby? The obvious answer is that your #1 priority should be addressing what your child wants and needs, despite the dirty looks of others. If your child is interested in breastfeeding and you physically can cater to your baby’s needs, then you should never let someone else’s opinion impact your maternal instinct.

Embrace the convenience

No matter where you go, where you may be stranded, what you may forget at home or how rushed you are to get out the door, you will always have your baby’s food with you. It’s the ultimate convenience and we promise, when you’re piling eight million things into your diaper bag (diapers, pacifiers, toys, snacks, blankies, socks, wipes, tissues, puffs…) you’ll be glad you don’t need to also pack a bottle.

When in doubt, tune them out, focus on your child and smile

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First you need to accept that not everyone will agree with your decision (whether you choose to breastfeed or not) and that it’s not your job to convince the naysayers. The most important lessons we learned after becoming a mom is that you will never please everyone, and you cannot rely on the advice or opinions of others. Everyone will want to chime in on what you’re doing right or wrong and everyone has the perfect solution to your breastfeeding woes. Tune. Them. Out. When it comes to breastfeeding and formula feeding, the only one who really knows what’s best is you.

Remember that breastfeeding is perfectly normal and natural

Remember that breastfeeding is the most natural way to feed your babies, and women have been doing it since the beginning of time. Sure, not everyone will be comfortable with it and it might not make sense for every mother or every baby. But if you want to breastfeed, then you are simply opting to do what mothers have been doing forever. No matter how long (or if) you choose to breastfeed, where you choose to do it or what others think, stick to your guns and do what is right for you.